You just didn't want to be alone.
Or maybe, she was just good for your ego.
Or maybe, she made you feel better about your miserable life, but you didn't love her.
Because you don't destroy people you love.
很多時候你覺得跟一個人很熟了,可以不經大腦的想說什麼就說什麼
卻忘了言語也可以傷害一個人.
你覺得沒什麼大不了的,只是開玩笑
卻忘了玩笑也是有分寸的.
You think it's not a big deal and I'm making a big fuss over it.
Have you ever actually think that because those joking comments you made used to hurt me so much in the past?
我跟你提過那時候的痛,但你卻又硬生生把快結好的結痂扒開.
我一直避免自己去比較,但是這樣的你跟那時候的他有什麼差別?
都一樣無視我的努力,只看到我的不完美.
那請問你們就沒有不好的地方?
為什麼我拼命專注於你的好,你卻一直放大我的缺點?
是試著告訴我為什麼我會落到這種地步,都是我自己活該?
I don't think I did anything wrong to deserve this.
You know why I don't make too much jokes about you?
Because I know how much you want to be affirmative by people around you.
I try not to make comments that hurt your feelings, it's always fine for you to make some remarks about me, because I put your feelings infront of mine.
But have you ever spare a thought for me on why I behave so nasty after you "joke"?
What am I suppose to do after you've hurt my feelings?
Smile and say thank you? I bet even you can't do that.
If you can't do something, you can't expect someone else to do it then.
The more you hurt me, the more spiky I gets.
And that explains why am I always a bitch after we had a fight.
It may seems to be a small matter to you.
But it definitely is a big deal to me.
Because I care for your feelings more than I care for mine, but you're crossing the line.
You're stepping over my limit.
I'm not saying I should get something back in return after all I've done.
Nobody force me to do so, but I did so it's not necessary.
But I'm just asking you to think more for me, is it even that hard?
我知道你很喜歡跟你的姊妹們在一起.也知道你跟她們想處很自在.
其實我也知道如果你更自私的話,你會毫不猶豫地選擇跟她們黏在一起.
所以謝謝你這段日子強迫自己,但是以後不用那麼委屈了 :)
沒必要讓自己那麼痛苦,逼自己改變.
因為她們比我更了解你,更會逗你笑,更能讓你開心.
她們不會像我這樣孩子氣,為難著你.
而我也更寧願你過得很開心.
雖然我會忌妒,我會生氣,我會難過,但那都是我自己要學會去克服的.
反正一開始我們就知道最後還是會各自過各自的生活.
那何必再勉強自己繼續留在不開心的地方?
Don't worry.
You're gonna be alright :)
Here's a song for you to end:
原諒的代價 - 徐佳瑩
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXbdyy8Lgio
我知道向前 必須要付出代價
曾經也認真的以為我們的愛是無價
愛好像很堅強 卻又不得不掙扎
我明白 我們之間都太過虛假
想離開卻表現的好勉強 總是在裝傻
還以為結局都一直會是原諒
以為能原諒
No comments:
Post a Comment